Understand How to Orgasm: Unlock Pleasure

Having an orgasm is probably the most fun you can have without laughing. Not only that, but orgasms can make the world around you feel softer, more exciting and open you up to new horizons of understanding. And like many activities, the more you work on it, the better it becomes. Nonetheless, for many people, especially women, achieving orgasm can be rather difficult. If you are interested in expanding your universe by having mind-melting orgasms, you are in the right place. This guide will cover what an orgasm is, the different types of orgasms, and how you can achieve it through sex with your partner, again, and again, and again.

Read on to learn about:

• Understanding Orgasm
• Different Types of Orgasm
• The Importance of Emotional Connection and Relaxation
• Building a Strong Connection With Your Partner
• How to Orgasm During Sex
• Conclusion

Understanding Orgasm

An orgasm is a climax occurring at the end of sexual activity. It is accompanied by highly pleasurable sensations in the genital regions, including the vagina, clitoris, and (less often) the breast in women, as well as the penis and prostate in men. When you have orgasmed, it usually means that sexual activity is over. It takes around five to seven minutes for a man to orgasm¹, while the average woman takes around 14 minutes². This time discrepancy means that, if you want to learn how to orgasm together, it’s recommended for heterosexual couples to try and prioritize the woman’s needs first.

What Happens During an Orgasm?

Orgasms are personal and can feel different depending on the person experiencing them. There are also, of course, notable differences between the ways men and women come. Generally speaking, both men and women feel an intense feeling of pleasure in their nether regions, their heart rate increases, and their face, neck, or chest flushes. Afterward, both men and women can feel happy, sleepy, or relaxed due to the release of endorphins.

What Happens When Men Orgasm

When men orgasm, the following processes occur:

• The muscles in the penis and anus contract once every second, for around five to eight times
• The penis releases 1-2 tablespoons of semen in a process known as ejaculation
• The head of the penis becomes extra sensitive to the touch

A male orgasm typically lasts between a few seconds to a few minutes³.

What Happens When Women Orgasm

Women’s orgasms are usually characterized by the following things:

• The vagina and anus muscles contract once per second, around five to eight times
• The vagina becomes wet
• For anywhere between 10-70% of women⁴, fluid is ejaculated
• The vagina and clitoris become extra sensitive

Female orgasms typically last between 3 to 15 seconds, but some can last for up to a minute⁵.

Different Types of Orgasm

The best thing about orgasms is that you can have them in a variety of different parts of your body. Men can experience orgasms in both their penis and in their prostate while women can achieve orgasms in their vagina, clitoris, and, in rarer cases, their breasts. We’ve got the lowdown of all the different types of orgasms below.

Vaginal Orgasm

A vaginal orgasm occurs when a woman is penetrated in her vagina. It can occur through the insertion of the penis, a sex toy, or through digital (finger) penetration. They feel deeper in the body than regular clitoral orgasms and they can cause the vaginal canal to pulsate. The common consensus is that vaginal orgasm can occur when the g-spot — found roughly two inches inside the front wall of the vagina — is stimulated. Around 10-40% of women report squirting during this type of orgasm⁶. Around 18.6% of women report being able to orgasm from intercourse alone⁷. It usually helps to accompany it with clitoral stimulation or nipple touching.

Clitoral Orgasm

The clitoris is a female sex organ that is located at the anterior end of the vulva. According to the latest research, the clitoris contains over 10,000 nerve fibers⁸, making it extremely sensitive to any kind of stimulation. The clitoris can be awakened through manual stimulation, including rubbing of the clitoral hood and walls, and can also be stimulated through the use of a vibrator. The other partner can also stimulate the clit through cunnilingus, which refers to when a partner licks the vagina. 36.6% of women report needing some kind of clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm⁷.

Breast Orgasm

Nipples have hundreds of nerve endings, making them rather sensitive to play with. Around 12% of women can have an orgasm through playing with their nipples⁹. Anecdotally, people report that a nipple orgasm takes longer to occur, but when it does occur, waves of pleasure rush across the body.

Penile Orgasm

A penile orgasm is the most common type of orgasm for a man to have. This is when the penis is stimulated, either through the hand, oral sex, or penetration. Around 95% of heterosexual men and 89% of gay men report being able to orgasm in this fashion through sex,¹⁰ putting them leagues ahead of their female counterparts. This type of orgasm is usually always followed by ejaculation of about a tablespoon of semen. The semen can even shoot out and travel a few feet before landing.

Prostate Orgasm

It’s not only women who have a special g-spot that can be stimulated. Men may also have one, also known as the p-spot, located inside their anus. The prostate gland, around the shape of a walnut, can be massaged and stimulated, resulting in a prostate orgasm. This can come through masturbation or even penetration, whether through gay anal sex or pegging (whereby a woman uses a strap-on dildo). Some men claim that prostate orgasms are better orgasms than their penile counterparts, with the science suggesting that while penile stimulation orgasms result in four to eight muscle contractions, prostate orgasms contain up to 12 contractions¹¹. This type of orgasm is not common among men (especially straight men) but can unlock the ability for multiple orgasms.

The Importance of Emotional Connection and Relaxation

For both partners to achieve a great orgasm during sex, having an emotional connection and being relaxed and secure in yourself is completely crucial. In fact, emotional intimacy and care for the other person have been linked to better sexual compatibility¹². That’s why it is very important to make sure that you are actively bolstering your relationship together.

Building a Stronger Connection With Your Partner

If both you and your partner are regularly having orgasms together, then this can help decrease stress in the relationship and even lead to fewer arguments. To get to this stage, it’s crucial to be on the same page emotionally. That’s why you should make sure that before you have sex, you try and do something else first, such as going on a long date or having dinner together, which will allow the foreplay to grow and the intimacy to build, meaning that when it comes down to having sex together, both of you will be more likely to have an orgasm.

How to Orgasm During Sex

The best part about achieving orgasm through sex is the various ways that you can achieve it. As this guide above has shown, men and women achieve orgasm in pretty different ways, meaning that if you are looking to please either gender, you should be thinking about it differently. Read on for exclusives on how to make her orgasm and how to make him orgasm.

How to Make Her Orgasm

As previously stated, women are less likely to orgasm than men from a sexual encounter, so heterosexual men in particular need to make sure that they are going the extra mile to make their woman come. If you are trying to make her orgasm through vaginal intercourse, then it’s worth stimulating other areas of her body at the same time, such as her nipples, neck, and lips, by using your hands and mouth. If it isn’t working, then maybe it’s worth trying to spice up your sex life by introducing some lube into the mix. Nonetheless, if this still doesn’t work, then it’s worth getting to grips with the ins and outs of cunnilingus, as this is the easiest way to make a woman orgasm.

How to Make Him Orgasm

Broadly speaking, men can orgasm in three ways: through manual stimulation, oral stimulation, or penetration. The quickest way to bring a man to orgasm is by giving him a handjob. This is easiest when you have some lube handy, especially if he is uncircumcised, and by jerking his penis quickly. Otherwise, you can quickly stimulate and make a man orgasm by giving him oral sex, or by lying on your back to let him penetrate you. If you find he isn’t coming from the regular missionary position, then it’s always a great idea to play around with different sex positions to find out what he likes.

Conclusion

Now that you have read our complete guide on how to orgasm, you should be one step closer to transcendent sex, whether with a partner or a one-night stand. It’s worth making sure you understand each above step in detail to maximize your chances of success. The key things to remember are taking it easy, introducing toys and lube into your play, and communicating clearly with your partner about your sexual needs. It’s also worth remembering that having great orgasms isn’t something that you can do easily but takes time, work, and dedication. So keep trying and have lots of fun in the process.

Resources:

1. National Institute of Health, 2019, Premature ejaculation: Overview
2. International Society for Sexual Medicine, Undated, How long does it take a woman to reach orgasm?
3. Healthline, 2023, Everything You Need to Know About Male Orgasms
4. ISSM, Undated, Do women ejaculate?
5. National Institute of Health, 1993, [The duration of female orgasm]
6. Science Direct, 2015, Nature and Origin of “Squirting” in Female Sexuality
7. National Institute of Health, 2017, Women's Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94
8. OHSU, 2022, Pleasure-producing human clitoris has more than 10,000 nerve fibers
9. Research Gate, 2016, Female hot spots: extragenital erogenous zones
10. National Institute of Health, 2017, Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample
11. National Institute of Health, 2015, Normal male sexual function: emphasis on orgasm and ejaculation
12. Springer, 2023, Caring, Chemistry and Orgasms: Components of Great Sexual Experiences

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