Tips for First Time Sex

Regardless of age, gender, or sexuality, the first time you have sex is an exciting milestone in life that can cement the growing love between you and your partner. But with that comes a certain set of expectations that can cause a build-up of nerves in the days before your romantic encounter. With that in mind, we’ve put together a few helpful tips for first-time sex, including:

• How To Have Sex For The First Time: Busting the Myths
• What To Do For Your First Time: Don’t Be Pressured
• How to Physically Prepare For Your First Time: Don’t Compare Yourself
• What To Know Before Having Sex For The First Time: Wear Protection
• First-Time Sex Advice: Try To Relax

How To Have Sex For The First Time: Busting the Myths

When looking for first-time sex advice, you are likely to get all sorts of so-called tips and tricks from friends telling you to conduct yourself in a certain way or to look a certain way. The thing is, when it comes to the sex-of-it-all — the thrusting, the pumping, the touching, the looking and smelling good — that’s less important than feeling confident within yourself and communicating carefully with your partner before getting down to business. Read on for our tips on how to prepare for your first time having sex.

What To Do For Your First Time: Don’t Be Pressured

It might seem ridiculous to be nervous about something as common as sex, but considering the intimacy and trust involved, it is common to lack confidence when taking that step for the first time. One of the most important things to remember is that you’re in charge of when you want to do it. Regardless of what people around you seem to be doing, the decision to have sex comes down to individual choice — that ultimately can only be made by you.

If your relationship is as important to your partner as it is to you, they’ll understand how you feel; and if you need to wait, they will wait for you. If you go into sex feeling unprepared and not ready, you are unlikely to enjoy it and may end up regretting it.

If you are unsure of your sexual orientation or the feelings of your body during intimacy, the pressure can feel even more intimidating. The process of understanding your own gender and sexual identities can be a confusing and difficult time to evaluate, both emotionally and physically. In this instance, it’s even more important to take things slowly and decide if the person you’re planning on sleeping with is the right one for you.

How to Physically Prepare For Your First Time: Don’t Compare Yourself

In the body-conscious world of 21st-century America, men can suffer from serious image concerns, with research showing that 10 to 30 percent of men have anxiety about their body image¹.

The statistics are even more notable among men who identify as homosexual, leading to a rise in cosmetic surgery². When it comes to women, a staggering 60% felt anxious about the way they and others perceived their bodies³.

When it comes to sex, our fears are even more pronounced as we compare ourselves to representations of the body seen in the media and pornography. It’s easy to look at the performers in an adult film and be concerned that we don’t quite measure up, whether that be in muscle mass or even penis or breast size.

Being content with your own body is easier said than done of course, but if the person lying in bed next to you ever makes you feel inadequate physically, perhaps it’s worth questioning whether they are the right person to be with. It’s also worth making sure you feel confident naked on your own before showing that body to another person.

What To Know Before Having Sex For The First Time: Wear Protection

A new relationship can be an exciting and overwhelming time for couples, and in the furor surrounding first-time preparation and nerves, it’s pretty easy to forget about putting on a condom. You may also feel some embarrassment or worry that bringing up safe sex might ruin the mood. However, engaging in sex without contraception puts you at risk of contracting a range of STDs, and, for heterosexual cisgender couples, pregnancy. As of 2022, there has been a 1.9% five-year increase in STDs in the USA. Chlamydia is the most common in the USA, with over 160,000 cases reported in the same year⁴.

Though considered less at risk, gay women still need to engage in safe sex to avoid passing infections through oral sex and the sharing of sex toys.

While there are several options available when it comes to contraception, the condom reduces the risk of contracting STDs as well as the risk of unwanted pregnancy. With a huge variety of condoms on the market; from flavored to extra-thin, you can help protect yourself and your new lover from unwanted pregnancies and infections and have fun in the process. Dental dams can be used for cunnilingus, and if you and your partner want to use sex toys together, it’s important to ensure you wash them regularly and avoid sharing.

First-Time Sex Advice: Try To Relax

Sex can be awkward, there’s no escaping that, and sometimes it can be pretty funny too, so be sure to choose a partner who puts you at ease and allows you to relax. If it’s your first time, the more you relax, the more likely you will enjoy it.

You may want to consider using a KY massage gel and lube to help make you feel more comfortable. A mutual massage can help relax the body before engaging in intercourse while the lubricant will pay dividends in reducing that awkward atmosphere you’ve worked so hard to avoid. It will also help limit the discomfort you could feel if this is your first time.

Whatever your gender and sexual identity, the first time you have sex is likely to be an intense experience. The upside of this is, of course, the opportunity to connect with someone on a level you may not have encountered previously. Remember these simple tips to ensure you have a relaxing experience when initiating intimacy with someone new.

Resources

1. National Institute of Health, 2019, Body Dissatisfaction, Importance of Appearance, and Body Appreciation in Men and Women Over the Lifespan
2. National Institute of Health, 2021, Higher Rates of Body Dissatisfaction in Gay Men Leading to a Rise in Cosmetic Surgery
3. YouGov, 2021, YouGov Body Image Study 2021: How Americans are feeling about their body image
4. CDC, 2022, Sexually Transmitted Infections Surveillance, 2022

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